Sharing My Heart

This world is fading away, along with everything that people crave. But anyone who does what pleases God will live forever. 1 John 2:17

Dear Fading World,

I am so over you. This is my 50th year of life and I find no pleasure in you. I spend a great deal of my time wanting to enjoy you and coming up empty. I also spend a great deal of my time working with others sorting out the destruction you have sent their way and trying to help them find peace and it is not found in you. You are a world that is fading and I will not hope in you.

Farewell,

Tracy

“But anyone who does what pleases God will live forever”

Not forever in this fading world but in a world that promises much more. I have come to the space in my life that I live for THAT promise. The promise of what is to come and that promise can only be attained through Jesus.

OH HERE WE GO…..yep the woman shares her heart and it is the same thing time and time again…JESUS!

Move on, swipe right or left or un-heart me or whatever social media tells you to do….I will preach Jesus. I have been called to walk alongside hurting, lost, hopeless women and each time one story trumps the next. I’m not even surprised anymore at the sin, the separation, the disasters that the enemy leaves in its path…it is the fading world at work. Here is what I know for the sweet women that desperately seek help and hope and end up on my doorstep….Jesus is the only answer. Their circumstances are really bad, really stupid, really hopeless. They want desperately to fix their marriages, to get a job, to help their children, to do right, but they are sucked into the deep abyss of the Fading World!

Friends, Please, I plead with you, consider Jesus.

“BEHOLD I MAKE ALL THINGS NEW.” Revelation 21:5

This world is fading away and all your serious circumstances and real life disasters are going to be obliterated and you will be left standing before the One who says “Behold, I make all things new.” Please know Him so that when this world is faded and you are standing alone before the Great One, The God, Father Almighty, you will BE MADE NEW!

“If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. 2 Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. 3 For you have died, and your life is hid with Christ in God. 4 When Christ who is our life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.” Colossians 3:1-3

As the world fades, seek the things above. If you don’t even know what this means or don’t even know where to begin but you know in your heart that the world is fading and if you don’t get some help you will fade too, then reach out to me. Go to a local church and get help. Find the One who will make all your things new!

I write this because I have seen and heard so much. I know that the world is fading and I don’t want you to fade with it. Be renewed, be assured, and rest in TRUE hope and peace.

I love you,

Tracy

ps…Hi, Its been a few moments since I’ve posted, sorry, I’ll get better.

I am a mother.

And whereas I love this day that we have set aside to celebrate motherhood and don’t get me wrong I loved receiving my favorite bottle of wine and flowers for my kids, I have a little question for us to consider. Shouldn’t we really be celebrating The Giver of Life and the One who is actually responsible for making it possible to be a mom!

That’s what I celebrate today and that’s where my focus is and I hope you’d entertain letting that be your focus too! I think as our culture has commercialized Mother’s Day, it perhaps has done a disservice to our faith and walking in freedom and in partnership with Christ. You see, when we have any opportunity to have our focus turned to self or to have our desires tempted towards wanting others to notice us or to honor us, we get things flipped upside down and it feeds the idols of your heart.

So, moms soak up all the love, respect and admiration you receive today, but guard your heart and if for some reason you aren’t noticed or honored or respected today… don’t let that bring you down, don’t let that ruin you. Turn your eyes to the One and only Creator of all things, the One who gave you the gift of motherhood, the One that made it possible for you to bear children and to be a mother. He loves you. He’s proud of you. He made you to make those little ones in your life. And turn your eyes to those little ones…I can say being a mother of adult children has allowed me the perspective to look back and to cherish the blessings I was given through them. If you still have little ones that tax you all day long, if you have teenagers that press the limits, don’t grow weary, but turn your eyes back to the One and only Father, Creator, Sustainer, the One who gave you the blessing of children! Soak it in let your heart be full of the only One who should fill it!

And I say to the women who never bore children or raise children, you too are a mother. God created you to be nurturing, to nurture life, to raise other women in Christ. So don’t let our culture push you out of this day of remembrance. We are all mothers. We give life and love and nurture and support to countless people around us, and it’s because that’s what God created women to do. You are unique and you are unique because of the Creator. There is none like you and your value comes not from the fact that you are a mother, your value comes from being a child. A Child of God!

So, I guess this message is really not to mothers, or women it is to those who aren’t yet a child of God or who have not yet given Lordship over to Jesus Christ. This message is for YOU, because it’s your time. If you want to know what true love is and how it feels to walk in freedom and to be of importance to someone… look to Christ! He chose to pay your debt. Don’t worry we all have a debt to God. We’ve all fallen short of righteousness before God but for Christ. He made a way for you and I to be reconciled this Almighty God of the universe and He made the way because He genuinely loves you. I don’t care what you’ve done, how big or how little you think your sin is, and neither does Christ. Because before you were even formed, He chose to pay the debt for you! That is true love. He simply waits for you to turn to him and give him Lordship of your life so that you never have to be alone or feel unloved or discarded or not at peace ever again! Happy child of God day, My Friend!

Be at Peace!

This blog will seek to answer why wearing masks in church broke my heart and caused me to stay home, forsaking ‘to gather together’….AND why I’m going back NOW!…even with a mask, and even if it is just to get through the front doors (don’t send the mask police, I promise not to go to church or any other social event if I have ANY symptoms and I promise to wash my hands often and keep my distance from you if you are afraid I’m secretly carrying a virus that may or may not kill you but actually God is the one that has numbered your days, so its not really on me if you die from possible covid that may be secretly hiding in me) (yes that is the longest run on sentence since Paul in Ephesians)

Back to the thesis (this is a blog, not a masters degree, don’t be too serious): Masks worn at church OVER/ON TOP OF the proverbial masks you put on BEFORE you go to church, causes impersonal, superficial and Satan-honoring engagements.

***Yikes, did she just say “satan-honoroing”??? AS IF!!”***

The Enemy of God wants nothing more then for your face to be covered by the mask HE’S given you, not your cute one from Athleta or your handmade one from Aunt Ethel, but the one you wear because of the lies he’s sold you, about not being wanted, or good enough, or even worthy of stepping into a church. This enemy has told you that you better figure out how to let everyone know that you have your SH$! together and that you are “christian” enough and if you don’t smile and nod and act like you ‘got it goin’ on’ when you go to church, you may not be accepted and you definitely won’t be considered to teach in children’s church, let alone to be a deacon or deaconess! So, every Sunday morning you desperately seek how to look good, play the part and ‘do’ church. OH and Definitely, don’t let them see what happens in your mind or in you heart or behind closed doors. …..cause IF you do, Jesus might redeem it and then God would be glorified.

PLEASE don’t tell me that I’m the only “good” Christian out there that has been caught up in this?!

It’s OK, you don’t need to confess. I’ll confess for us all. It is true. You know it and I won’t let you remain in denial.

ANYWAY…..fast forward to 2020 when covid is allowed to wreck havoc on our world and the government tells you to ACTUALLY put on a freakin’ MASK. Cover your nose and mouth. PROTECT yourself from the germs!!! It’s the ONLY way to save yourself and others around you! Wash your hands, stay home alone, away from others and when you are with others. COVER YOUR FACE!!!

“AH…..YES!” wringing his hands together and saying “muah hahhaha” The Enemy whispers “Cover your filthy faces, they give to much away about your inner self, about the current state of your soul. COVER YOUR FACE!”

My friends, CHRISTMAS is important. I go to church on Christmas Eve and celebrate the birth of the ONE and ONLY perfect lamb. The Savior of my soul. God…..born human. Destined for crucifiction…….BUT willingly for ME, for YOU, for TO (can I say that?) FOR TO RECONCILE MY SIN and RESTORE ME to GOD! We go to church ON Christmas!

So… I know this is getting long…but hang with me….

……I dress up in my BEST, I go to church Christmas Eve, with my most beloved family, I accessorize with my favorite mask (cause lets be honest it’s a fashion statement now and here is yet one more thing to judge each other on), and I walk into church.

WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE???? Is that Lena? Wait?, Heidi wouldn’t wear that dress! Who just smiled at me or was it a scowl, and waived.

That woman’s eyes looked desperate.

These children won’t look me in the eye!

LORD HELP US! What in the actual FORGOODNESSSAKE is this?

I DIED!

I was so disturbed. The church service was fine, Jesus was born and we celebrated and I pulled my mask down and I cried. Well, OK, I didn’t cry out loud, because I’m a “good” Christian girl and I know how to wear the mask that the enemy gave me…(isn’t that sad). But I did die inside.

And I mourned.

I mourned for the death of “one-anothering”. How can I “one-another” you if I can’t see your face (am I right? or stubborn? or limited?)

I mourned for the f-ing (sorry) win that Satan won with the masking of our people.

Please, I get it, its a horrible virus and it tends to “kill people” (God allowed of course). I understand people get more sick and that we are contagious BEFORE we get symptoms. I understand it’s a ‘thing”. But I am MORE saddened that it has dampened fellowship. I am MORE saddened that it took a year of LIFE-living from me. I am more so, so very disturbed that I can’t see your “fake mask” under your cloth mask and that YOU may be suffering alone. I am sooo soooo disturbed by that.

So if you take ANYTHING from this RANT (lets be honest I don’t know what a thesis is)….take this… I LOVE YOU!

I AM CONCERNED ABOUT YOU!

I KNOW THAT THE CLOTH MASK YOU WEAR, COVERS THE MASK THAT THE ENEMY GAVE YOU, THAT YOU WERE HOPING SOMEONE LIKE ME WOULD SEE AND RECOGNIZE, AND THAT GOD WOULD USE THEM TO RESCUE YOU AND DRAW YOU CLOSER TO CHRIST!

I KNOW.

And whereas I may not see you, or your enemy given mask at church, I AM partnered with the I AM, and I am, willing to wear a stinking cloth mask FOR CHRIST, and for YOU.

If you see me at church (I sit on the left back row of the sanctuary), and IF you might be willing to come pull your cloth mask down(or not) and just say I need someone to help me take the mask the ENEMY put on me, OFF….I WILL BE THERE FOR YOU!

I love you!