Sharing My Heart

This blog will seek to answer why wearing masks in church broke my heart and caused me to stay home, forsaking ‘to gather together’….AND why I’m going back NOW!…even with a mask, and even if it is just to get through the front doors (don’t send the mask police, I promise not to go to church or any other social event if I have ANY symptoms and I promise to wash my hands often and keep my distance from you if you are afraid I’m secretly carrying a virus that may or may not kill you but actually God is the one that has numbered your days, so its not really on me if you die from possible covid that may be secretly hiding in me) (yes that is the longest run on sentence since Paul in Ephesians)

Back to the thesis (this is a blog, not a masters degree, don’t be too serious): Masks worn at church OVER/ON TOP OF the proverbial masks you put on BEFORE you go to church, causes impersonal, superficial and Satan-honoring engagements.

***Yikes, did she just say “satan-honoroing”??? AS IF!!”***

The Enemy of God wants nothing more then for your face to be covered by the mask HE’S given you, not your cute one from Athleta or your handmade one from Aunt Ethel, but the one you wear because of the lies he’s sold you, about not being wanted, or good enough, or even worthy of stepping into a church. This enemy has told you that you better figure out how to let everyone know that you have your SH$! together and that you are “christian” enough and if you don’t smile and nod and act like you ‘got it goin’ on’ when you go to church, you may not be accepted and you definitely won’t be considered to teach in children’s church, let alone to be a deacon or deaconess! So, every Sunday morning you desperately seek how to look good, play the part and ‘do’ church. OH and Definitely, don’t let them see what happens in your mind or in you heart or behind closed doors. …..cause IF you do, Jesus might redeem it and then God would be glorified.

PLEASE don’t tell me that I’m the only “good” Christian out there that has been caught up in this?!

It’s OK, you don’t need to confess. I’ll confess for us all. It is true. You know it and I won’t let you remain in denial.

ANYWAY…..fast forward to 2020 when covid is allowed to wreck havoc on our world and the government tells you to ACTUALLY put on a freakin’ MASK. Cover your nose and mouth. PROTECT yourself from the germs!!! It’s the ONLY way to save yourself and others around you! Wash your hands, stay home alone, away from others and when you are with others. COVER YOUR FACE!!!

“AH…..YES!” wringing his hands together and saying “muah hahhaha” The Enemy whispers “Cover your filthy faces, they give to much away about your inner self, about the current state of your soul. COVER YOUR FACE!”

My friends, CHRISTMAS is important. I go to church on Christmas Eve and celebrate the birth of the ONE and ONLY perfect lamb. The Savior of my soul. God…..born human. Destined for crucifiction…….BUT willingly for ME, for YOU, for TO (can I say that?) FOR TO RECONCILE MY SIN and RESTORE ME to GOD! We go to church ON Christmas!

So… I know this is getting long…but hang with me….

……I dress up in my BEST, I go to church Christmas Eve, with my most beloved family, I accessorize with my favorite mask (cause lets be honest it’s a fashion statement now and here is yet one more thing to judge each other on), and I walk into church.

WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE???? Is that Lena? Wait?, Heidi wouldn’t wear that dress! Who just smiled at me or was it a scowl, and waived.

That woman’s eyes looked desperate.

These children won’t look me in the eye!

LORD HELP US! What in the actual FORGOODNESSSAKE is this?

I DIED!

I was so disturbed. The church service was fine, Jesus was born and we celebrated and I pulled my mask down and I cried. Well, OK, I didn’t cry out loud, because I’m a “good” Christian girl and I know how to wear the mask that the enemy gave me…(isn’t that sad). But I did die inside.

And I mourned.

I mourned for the death of “one-anothering”. How can I “one-another” you if I can’t see your face (am I right? or stubborn? or limited?)

I mourned for the f-ing (sorry) win that Satan won with the masking of our people.

Please, I get it, its a horrible virus and it tends to “kill people” (God allowed of course). I understand people get more sick and that we are contagious BEFORE we get symptoms. I understand it’s a ‘thing”. But I am MORE saddened that it has dampened fellowship. I am MORE saddened that it took a year of LIFE-living from me. I am more so, so very disturbed that I can’t see your “fake mask” under your cloth mask and that YOU may be suffering alone. I am sooo soooo disturbed by that.

So if you take ANYTHING from this RANT (lets be honest I don’t know what a thesis is)….take this… I LOVE YOU!

I AM CONCERNED ABOUT YOU!

I KNOW THAT THE CLOTH MASK YOU WEAR, COVERS THE MASK THAT THE ENEMY GAVE YOU, THAT YOU WERE HOPING SOMEONE LIKE ME WOULD SEE AND RECOGNIZE, AND THAT GOD WOULD USE THEM TO RESCUE YOU AND DRAW YOU CLOSER TO CHRIST!

I KNOW.

And whereas I may not see you, or your enemy given mask at church, I AM partnered with the I AM, and I am, willing to wear a stinking cloth mask FOR CHRIST, and for YOU.

If you see me at church (I sit on the left back row of the sanctuary), and IF you might be willing to come pull your cloth mask down(or not) and just say I need someone to help me take the mask the ENEMY put on me, OFF….I WILL BE THERE FOR YOU!

I love you!