I wrote this three weeks ago in the woods with a pen and paper. I had no intention of publishing it but today as I re-read the words, I realized it is still the cry of my heart.

Same ol’ story, same ol’ hurt, a heart full of disappointment, a heart that needs to be poured out so the Great Physician, My Shelter, can fill it back up.

So my pencil touches the page, the sun shines on my back, the wind blows through my hair and I write…

Addiction & drunkenness & sin & debauchery…kills. It is just not satisfied to hurt or maim, it is set to destroy a person, their family, their relationship. Slowly deteriorates, slowly toward death.

Satan uses this tool to entrap and hold captive the sout that stands the most to win souls to Christ. This addiction sucks life out of someone. Within this there is o room for The Lord, no room for Glory, only darkness reigns.


She slams away at the wedge.


Determined to slice it, a big round from a tree cut in the woods. Relentless she hits it until atlas she declares “I HAVE SLAYED THE WOOD”

This is the determination with which the addict must be determined to be free.


Audaciously determined to hit the wedge until the chains of addiction fall away. You can’t stop part way, thinking that it is close enough just to beat the wedge into the stump, you have to continue until you have slayed the beast.

Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have been given from God, and that you are not your own? 1 Cor 6:19

writing the dreams

Sometimes you just have to write down your dreams.  It doesn’t mean you are going to get on the path to making them come true or even that they do have to come true, but there is something powerful about writing them down.  I don’t know if its just that it gets it out of your head, into a less dreamy place and into a more tangible reality.  Or if, as you write them down, some become more real and necessary, while others become less desirable.  Either way today I write my dreams….

1)To write.  Not just on this blog, with the extra seconds of my day but to really have a space to sit and write and contemplate and get my soul onto paper. 

2) To learn:  more then just self learning but deeper.  Master’s degree deeper…Theology deeper…counseling deeper….and the time to do it. 

But really isn’t that what is keeping me from pursing these first two dreams anyway?  time…money….

3) Baby Joshua…there is to be a third child in my life.  Now don’t get all “She’s 43 (almost) how can she want a baby”.  I don’t, or atleast I don’t think so but the dream or vision of “Baby Joshua” is as strong as it was 7 years ago…I have no idea what it means or what it will look like but I think ‘it’, ‘he’, is still out there.  It may not even be a real baby, but clear as day I heard the Lord tell me that there was to be third child…**maybe it was “BUDDY” not babySmile.   Buddy the big husky came into our life a couple of months ago.  Maybe his real name is Joshua.  Maybe my 3rd dream has already come true in Joshua the Husky boy?

4) Wide Open Spaces…I want a house, just a clean simple home, without tile countertops, close to town..super just not very far away from a coffee hut or a grocery store; on a little piece of property.  I would like it to have a shop for my husband to play in, perhaps a pond where the dogs can frolic, a chicken coop, a garden, a couple goats, maybe an alpaca and a porch with a rocking chair.  OH also a view of the mountains.  That’s all.

5) Beach time.  I would like to move my life to the beaches of Hawaii.  But a trip there would suffice…I know…what a sacrifice I’m willing to make. But seriously this dream is so stuck in my head I think about running away to that rolling tide EVERY SINGLE day!

6)Children that seek hard after the Lord.  They are in their early teens=years so what does that even mean or look like for them?  They seek as hard as they can after things that they want but even that seeking isn’t as hard as I want them to seek after the Lord.  This is my fervent prayer. 

7) Ministry.  I’m so excited to meet with the ladies that are soon to gather at Camp Lutherwood, I can hardly stand it. (Women’s retreat: first weekend in August).  BUT I NEED MORE OF THIS. More time in one on one ministry, more time pouring my life into others, more time teaching women, more time with God and people all shaken up and pouring over…..

7 Dreams

Do you want to do me a favor?

Pick one of those dreams of mine and pray for me.  Which dream did the Holy Spirit highlight for you when you read it?  Pray for that.  For me.

If you comment a dream that you have, I’ll pray for you!


Dear Sisters: Time to Retreat

I was born into a family without sisters, but I was also blessed with many cousins and friends that are my sisters. Women need women to be their sisters.

Tonight, I was laying in bed praying for my sisters. I have an unknown number of sisters that will be joining me at CAMP LUTHERWOOD for the women’s retreat in 30 days, August 1-3. Please note: the pictures promoting the event are not of me…I have aged and I am not the young little whipper snapper that some of you may remember from the early 90’s but do not be fooled by the advertisement. I’m much shorter….

As I was praying for these sisters, I thought of you and how I really want you to join me for this weekend. The Lord is pouring wisdom and truth into my heart about our topic for the weekend and I just really sense that you should join me.

Please don’t let the “camp” word keep you away. This place is amazing. There are cabins and beds and showers and water and good food and open spaces and PEACE. Its just a short jaunt over the mountains, west of Eugene and the cost is so minimal, you just can’t buy an opportunity like this for $100 anymore…don’t let those things stop you from joining me. Tell me if you want to go but have obstacles that you need help overcoming. I’ll help you overcome.

This isn’t about me leading a retreat. This is about you receiving something that He wants my sisters to have. He is creating a story in your life that you are completely unaware of. I think you may have given up on your dreams, I think you think that God doesn’t have great plans for you, I think that perhaps my sisters need to have their hearts and minds refreshed. I know God is giving me a message that you need to hear. I need to hear it, that is why He has chosen such a time as this to gather us together.

Join Me?