Sharing My Heart

Archive for the tag “hope”

I bet you don’t trust God for reals….

Faith.  A complete trust or confidence in someone or something.

I would have sworn up and down that I am a woman of faith!  Honestly, I trust.  I trust, probably to my own fault sometimes because I can trust things I shouldn’t trust but I also know that beyond all things I have Faith in God!

This morning I realized my faith is WEAK.  Sooooo weak!   I don’t have complete trust or confidence in God.  Sure, you can read HERE and I bet you’d say that woman has BIG Faith.  But don’t let that fool you.

Life is hard, right? In general, we have ups and downs and when we have downs they suck.  Some downs are bigger then others, like finding husbands dead or financial bankruptcy or serious health issues, or (insert your big issue here).  Now these BIG things seem to me, to be easier to trust God for because they are so insurmountable to me that I have absolutely NO OTHER PLACE to go for assurance than God. Easy.  I profess faith in Jesus Christ and because of that as a Christian I’m to trust God for these BIG things and so somehow, I easily trust and abide when death lurks around the corner or certain destruction is imminent. I call on God to move the mountain and HE shows up and my faith is strengthened and my pride is puffed up (blech) because I TRUSTED.

But what about the downs in life that are smaller and sometimes more drawn out and a bit more irritating even.  Like personality conflicts or broken pipes or long winters or tight fitting clothes or not enough time or (insert your little thing here) .

As I sat down to bible study today I started my worship playlist and listened to this song and I was immediately taken back to March 24, 2017-March 30, 2017 when I had this and the other songs on this album on repeat constantly!

I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that at the mention of the name of Jesus that everything would be OK. I knew He would be with me and with Brek and that He would be all we needed. We would be OK.  I had no doubt, no fear…just a gentle peace and a trusting heart in The Provider, everything we ever needed Jesus supplied. We would be OK.

These words “You’re here, wonder working power, everything you breath on, coming back to life”  hit me flat in the chest today and I couldn’t breath.  You see I had some bumps in my road the last 24 hours, just little things that fall into the category of things God doesn’t want to bother Himself with in my life. Ya know, the things I should be able to sort out on my own.  They aren’t mountains that can’t be moved without faith, they are the things that if I just changed a little bit here or helped someone out there, then it will work itself out.  Right?

NO>>>>>>this is not faith.  This is not COMPLETE TRUST OR CONFIDENCE.  This is “God you got the big stuff, I’ll handle the little stuff because You don’t need to be bothered by the things that surely I can handle” theology.

NO>>>>>>>this is not faith.  Cherry picking when I sing “You are my strength you are my anchor and you never fail“.  Only in the times when I can’t do it myself?!  What the heck kind of messed up heart is that?

Ya’ll, I am nothing without Jesus.  I confess to you that at times I think I can handle some things without Jesus and when I do, I flail and toil and get frustrated and peace is no where.  Oh Jesus, let my heart want for only you!

I bet you don’t trust God for reals either.  I am guessing that as you read this you are convicted that you have some things that you just handle on your own with out any faith in God for because, well lets be honest the God of the Universe doesn’t need to bother himself with your mid-life tight fitting  jean irritation or that annoying relationship you struggle with.

Please friends, join me today in renewing your commitment to believing that at the mention of the Name of Jesus EVERYTHING chain will break and everything we let Him breath on comes back to life.  Jeans may not instantly fit better but you can turn to the God of all Creation for the strength you need today to step away from the cookie.  You can submit your bumpy relationships to the One and Only Living God to be present in your conversations and you can TRUST Him, put all confidence in Him, for the little things because lets face it His way is better then our feeble ways at trying to sort out this silly life.

Today, I submitted every little irritating detail, each person I’m concerned with, all the small things that I’m working hard on to rectify in my life and decided that I will have FAITH.  Real trust, real confidence in the Someone who cares and gave His very life for mine.

Thank you Jesus.  Be my Everything.


Tendency to pursue ideals

I was born with it, I’m not sure how else to explain it away. My lack of realism. I’m an idealist.

belief in or pursuance of ideals; the tendency to represent things in their ideal forms, rather then as they are.

I disagree with the ‘rather then as as they are’ portion of this definition, probably because I’m full of idealism, but I’m anchored in it. Idealist believe that things really are and can be the ultimate best. Some think its ridiculous to believe the best case scenario about each and every situation. Some prefer to be ‘realistic’ or ‘pessimistic’ or ‘synicalistic’.

Its been this way since I can remember. The little girl that just knew she’d become an Olympic Gymnast, the high school student that was assured she be driving a white convertible VW Rabbit as she pursued her studies in mathematical science at UC Berkley, the 20 year old that would assist in building the #1 outdoor ministry in the Lutheran Church, the young woman who believed the best marriages come from just love…all character flaws will magically disappear along with alcoholism, if you just love them enough!

You know the girl I’m talking about, I’m sure you have someone in your life that lives with the lofty ideals of success and that each avenue you choose to travel will totally work and ‘you can do it’! If you are a realist, this person drives you nuts in ways you can’t explain fully. I know this because this is the ONE area that my husband and I are a bit different on. It’s just as annoying, I mean challenging, for an idealist to discuss life with a realist. But I love you honey:)

My dad is a realist too, so I’ve learned the art of only speaking so strongly about my idealistic views, as to ensure the realist that their is hope and it really could happen, but then keep my overwhelming exuberance of the only option will end with the ultimate result, undoubting success and firework celebrations at the end!

Realist believe you are setting yourself up for failure and deep disappointment but you see the idealist doesn’t work this way. None of the idealistic dreams the girl had were fulfilled. They all sunk like a battleship but she was no worse off because of it. She continues to believe the big things and fight for the best and know that it really CAN happen. Sometimes it does and sometimes it doesn’t. Either way she has the tendency to pursue ideals….and probably always will.

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