Hello, I am Sergeant Teenage Hormones. I have entered your children’s bodies and I will single-handedly transform them into adults. I will drag them kicking and screaming through adolescents. I will cause hair to grow in places they don’t even want to think about. I will create skin problems that will make you cry. Do you hear me? Your son WILL become a man. Your daughter WILL become a woman. They WILL look at you like you are the craziest mom on the planet. They WILL think that you are an idiot. And I will not stop there. They WILL stomp their feet and roll their eyes and say things you don’t remember ever saying to your mom. They will become AUT-ON-OMOUS and you can not stop me. I am Sergeant Teenage Hormones and I take no prisoners.
Now, listen up, woman….here are your dark chocolate covered pomegranates. You seem to think they have great a-n-t-i-oxidant properties. They will escort you the rest of the way to the top of the hill. Once you reach the peak in 21 days, they will introduce you to your lady in waiting, The Middle-Age Fairy. She will ensure that you make it down the hill without slipping on the sagging skin or being blinded by the shine of the gray hairs. Who wants the teenage hormones now? huh?
Oh how I wish I could go back to my teenage years with the wisdom I carry at almost-40 and oh how my dad would say the same about my age. And so on and so forth……