Sharing My Heart

The start of something, the end of something

I told you I’d share what has been taking place in my life, in my heart recently and yet I hesitate because I don’t even know if I can put it into words.  It is like something new is happening in my soul, and something is ending at the same time.  It is such a subtle, slow change that I’m not really sure I can place my finger on it.

In my life, I’ve noticed a couple things. ONE…things get quiet before GOD speaks big.  It is not a desert but it is defiantly a still quiet time with God.  Not dry just a little pasty.  I’ve kinda been in that place, and so I anticipate a move of God.  It is in this anticipation that I go to the place of abandoning all my agenda’s, all my ideas, all my everything and wait.  Much like the night before Christmas, just knowing that when the sun rises there will be presents.  TWO…when old things pass away, new things come.  A seed must die to create new life.  There is a part of me that has died.  A part that was stinky and decaying.  A part that said ‘me, me’ all the time.  I think we probably all struggle with that but by God’s mercy and grace a portion of that selfish wants and desires has been crucified and something new is growing….

In a blog a while back I shared with you the Amani Life Project.  I’ve meet with the founders and am so excited about the idea of encouraging the women, young and old, of America to invest in the life of an orphan.  This is a project that will not only sew into the life of an orphan girl who otherwise wouldn’t have an opportunity to become whatever she wants to be.  But it also gets us–“silly, self centered, poor me, I’m not worth anything and although I have all the opportunity in the world I have no hope, women”–out of ourselves and into the dream of another.  (strangely we can have hope for another but not courage to move in the same hope for ourselves) 

Next, I’m being totally screwed up by The Field Experience blog.  Written by missionaries from our church.  Amazing courage and strength to do what they do with a baby in tow.  I along with some ‘Amani Life Project’ people are praying about our trip to Africa.  We won’t be going to the places where ‘The Field Experience’ people are, but it is Africa, none-the-less and I pray God would make it clear WHEN I should go!  To see, to taste, to smell, to touch, to be pressed down in Africa.

There really is so much more to share of what has been moving me lately.  Such as, my incredibly spirited children.  How was I so blessed with two completely different and yet 100% perfect little ones(big ones, really).  I just love them and each day they teach me so much and hopefully I teach them.  I still think it  would be good to require that people who want to have children get a license first.  Like a driver’s license…but that is another blog entirely.

Lastly, my church is going SIMPLE.  And I am so much on board with that plan.  Marc and I took 2 car loads of items to goodwill and 1 truck load to the dump( and that was just the garage)  The rest of the closets/pantry’s/areas under the beds~scary~) will be dealt with soon.  And in addition to simplifying our home, we have simplified our schedule…along with the church.  I just love it!

So much to share in so little time, like how perhaps there is a little part of me that wishes she was Sarah Palin(shh…not in a political sort of way but a I’m a woman that has something to say kinda way)…way to overwhelming for ya perhaps, but God is up to something and I just can’t wait to share it with you.  I’ll tell ya all about it as soon as I know!



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