Colds are from the devil

Its true, colds come straight from the devil himself.  I hate them and I can’t wait for Jesus to come back and kick the devil’s butt and send him and his virus minion to the forever fire!

Last Monday my beloved came to town with some of his furniture.  I think I mentioned we are building our home for our future together….1 month and 25 days to go.  Its been fun to watch my house transform into OUR HOME.  After getting situated it turns out he brought more then furniture, a virus came and sat down beside us!

Now, I won’t blame Breky-poo (as my daughter so lovingly calls him) for the devil virus I’m fighting because my daughter had one first, then my son, then my beloved and I’m sure I ended up with some half-breed strain that is out to destroy all living things.

I would much rather have the stomach flu for 24-48 hours than a cold.  Reason with me for a moment.  The stomach flu comes and its like a cleanse.  Sure you feel like your at deaths door for a couple days but in the end you expel everything you need to and end up a couple pounds lighter.  A cold drags on and on, sucking all the life out of you, like a slow painful torture.  Then the truck hits your face where you feel like every bone must be bruised and the ‘devil feather fairy’ jumps into your sinuses making you want to sneeze every 2 seconds.  HORRIBLE.

Ok, so with all my complaining I thought I could share with you what I do too ward off a cold.  These might help if you choose NOT to do them, since clearly they aren’t really making a dent in the misery at this point!

1.  At the first sign of a cold start repeating “I will not get sick, I will not get sick, I will not get sick”  this lasts about 1 day and only proves that you really do try to trick yourself sometimes.

2.  1 gram of Vitamin C every 15 minutes at the first little tickle in the throat…continue until your tummy feels loose(if ya know what I mean) and then continue taking at least 2 grams every hour until  your cold is gone.  Vitamin C is really a healing agent and immune booster.

3.  Zicam RapidMelts.  I think I must figure that if it tastes like death in my mouth then the virus might decide it should taste death too.

4.  Steam room.  This is the solution to every problem, physical, spiritual and mental.  STEAM.  Why won’t my husband-to-be put one in our bathroom?  because he’s afraid I might end up loving IT more then him….legit.

5.  The Pig:

Yep, that’s me 10 minutes ago with a pig on my face.  We put it in the microwave for 2 minutes and it comes out smelling like lavender and eucalyptus.  For a  brief moment it calms the ‘devil feather fairy’ that has  made a home in my nose.  I think its like Kryptonite to him.

Lastly, Colds make me miss bible study (2 weeks in a row) which drives me crazy!!! So, I pray a lot in my misery and find thankfulness for what I can and remember that this too shall pass and as my beloved said I’ll feel beautiful and amazing again soon.

Until then….