Sharing My Heart

What I saw last night

Now I know that I haven’t written since December 16th, where I told you about the ruts and the new mattress.  I’m not even conscious of where the last 12 days have gone, so I won’t begin to take you on a journey of made up stuff that explains why I  haven’t blessed you with any magnificent writings over the holidays.  But I will tell you what I saw last night and you won’t like it.  Sorry, you won’t, I don’t think…I didn’t like it until I realized what I have and what is wrapped around all that I saw.  Then I didn’t mind seeing it but I’ll admit it is still a little sobering and uncomfortable to think about.

I went to church last night.  (Now you are thinking what could she have seen at church that was disturbing!)  I saw a woman fighting breast cancer with a new hairdo that she removes nightly and sets on the bed stand, I saw a young man with a broken heart of loosing his dear brother to a life long battle with an illness, I saw a beautiful young lady who although put together on the outside has to be clawing her self apart on the inside after a suicide in her family, I saw bankruptcy in multiple families, I saw a woman who lost her father, mother and grandparents because she unveiled a 30 year old secret that was hiding in the dark.  I saw businesses failing, I saw women sitting alone without their husbands, I saw people in pain physically and mentally, I saw empty seats in a church that holds hope.  It was horrible, I could go on and I tell you the truth that I did not make up one of the things I saw.  Everywhere I looked I saw REAL UGLY, REAL BROKEN, REAL HARD life. 

This is the Christmas season, a time of great celebration for those that know Jesus and for those that don’t.  It is a universal time in our culture where people buy presents with money they don’t have and wear smiles that aren’t real and pretend to be cheery when there isn’t anything to be cheery about.  I know, this is a downer of a blog but the truth is I was really sad last night.  I don’t know what God is doing on the inside or the outside of me lately.  I feel like I’m just holding steady and not really moving anywhere with God and then to look around and see all that I saw I just sat and shook my head.

Then Pastor Steve Mickel spoke and darn-it-all if God didn’t send a silent ‘hush’ over my soul.  The answer?  HOPE.  Yep, HOPE.  That’s it, there really isn’t any other solution to the things I saw except HOPE.  All the REAL LIFE wrapped up in HOPE.  I have a feeling God is gonna speak to me about hope and most importantly about GLORY!  Glory through the people that are holding onto HOPE. 

Wrapped in Hope…

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